


even through the guilt

by l_oves



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff and (some) angst, Hugs, Love Confessions, M/M, Some Humor, also neji and tenten friendship moments because i said so, takes place around shippuden period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:33:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25168504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l_oves/pseuds/l_oves
Summary: "Tonight I am supposed to be going to a meeting with some officials.” Gaara informed the trio. "The officials I am meeting with live outside the village, so all they know of me are rumors. I am still a 12-year-old monster in their eyes. So, they want protection from foreign shinobi to make sure I’m not… out of hand.""Therefore, Lee will act as my 'bodyguard'.”-Based on the writing prompt:Person A: “....Why didn’t you tell me?”Person B: “Because I couldn’t bear the idea of you choosing to stay with me out of pity or guilt.”
Relationships: Gaara/Rock Lee, Hyuuga Neji & Rock Lee & Tenten
Comments: 11
Kudos: 117





	even through the guilt

A green blur sped through the gates of Sunagakure, spraying dust behind it in its wake.   
  
“GAARA-KUN!” Rock Lee, protege student of Maito Gai and said blur, exclaimed as he ran up to the person in question, who had been waiting for him and his team by the gates. He panted for a few seconds, catching his breath before throwing his arms around his close friend. “I have missed you so much! Oh, you would not believe…” Lee began to babble incoherently as youthful tears sprang to his eyes. Some of Gaara’s Anbu, as usual, rose in alarm, however most at this point did not bother reacting anymore to the strange display of affection. 

Gaara moved his arms stiffly in order to reciprocate Lee’s tight hug with a light squeeze of his own. “It’s good to see you, Lee,” Gaara replied roughly, looking over Lee’s shoulder to see the rest of Lee’s team catch up. He nodded at the group, noticing Neji and Tenten both wobbling on their feet. “I am glad you all could make it. I was afraid that the mission scroll wouldn’t come in time.”

As Gaara released his hold on Lee, Lee stepped back and nodded vigorously. “Yes, of course! It came perfectly on schedule, and of course we arrived as fast as we could, Gaa- ah, I mean, Kazekage-sama!” Lee cried, just noticing the others of Suna who were around them and quickly reverting to honorifics so that it would not seem like he was being impolite. Behind him, Neji rolled his eyes. Gaara crossed his arms before turning around and beginning to walk. 

\--

Once they were safely in his office, Gaara turned back around to face them, now in front of his desk. The sun beamed through the windows, casting the room in bright light. “I’m sure you have already read this, but tonight I am supposed to be going to a meeting with some officials.” Gaara informed the trio. Neji and Tenten glanced at each other while Lee stood rapt at full attention. “I understand that your teacher could not be available for this mission. That is fine. The officials I am meeting with live outside the village, so all they know of me are rumors. I am still a 12-year-old monster in their eyes. So, they want protection from foreign shinobi to make sure I’m not… out of hand."

"What!" Lee interrupted in shock, Tenten trying to shush him harshly but to no avail. "How could they? Everyone knows you are no longer like that! It is simply untrue!"

Gaara's face softened slightly, a sight that caused the same fluttery feeling Lee felt whenever Gaara looked at him.

"Thank you, Lee," Gaara responded quietly. "However, some people still don't believe it. Therefore, Lee will act as my ‘bodyguard’,” Gaara finished.

“Huh? Me? But, Gaara-kun - um, Kazekage-sama - would it not be better if all of us were there in the room with you, and not just me? I am sure that with all of our capabilities we will be more than enough to ease their worries!” Lee protested loudly.

Gaara shook his head. “No. They only want one bodyguard for this occasion, or else they will start to feel… threatened, otherwise.” Gaara’s lips twitched down in annoyance at all of the ridiculous terms before continuing. “I am asking Lee to pose as my bodyguard because I believe that the other officials will feel the least threatened by him. Not to say that you two aren’t capable,” Gaara added in Neji and Tenten’s direction. “But Lee will most likely be a bit underrated in his abilities due to his inability to do Ninjutsu, but will still give the others a sense of peace because they know he can handle me in a fair fight, as seen in the Chunin exams. Neji and Tenten will listen in to the meeting and will generally patrol the area. I do not trust these officials completely, at least not enough to trust they won’t try to plot anything against me.” 

“We’ll try our best,” Neji agreed, Tenten nodding while Lee pumped an energetic fist in the air.

“Yosh!” Lee whooped.

\--

Lee fidgeted in place at the meeting, eyeing all the stern officials. Many of them, he noticed, were already grey and balding; it seemed that Gaara was the youngest one there besides one or two women who seemed to be in their twenties, which made sense considering Gaara was exceptionally young for a Kage, let alone an official of any sort. A few seemed to glance at Lee, eyes scanning him critically before looking away, which made Lee almost break into a sweat. 

“Now, if we may begin…” A man at the head of the table said, clearing his throat before beginning to speak. As the man droned on, Lee quickly found himself tuning out most of the words. He was never very good at diplomatic relations or anything of the sort, anyway, and so he caught himself fidgeting even more, resisting the urge to start doing pushups right then and there. However, he caught Gaara glaring at him sharply from the corner of his eye, and so Lee stilled, flushing slightly. 

Although Lee liked to give everything his all, he couldn't wait for this to be over.

-

“Well. That was… exhausting,” Neji spit out as Tenten agreed, huffing and putting her hands on her hips.

“I know! Who could even stand to listen to those old coots basically talk smack about Gaara for almost three hours?! I don’t know how Gaara stands it,” Tenten complained, shaking her head in irritation. If it had been her in Gaara’s place, she didn’t know if she could stop herself from whipping out her kunai at the next person who spoke.

“Yeah. And I feel even worse for Lee,” Neji smirked, thinking back to Lee miserably trying to stay still in the meeting room, only to be shot with stern looks from Gaara each time he started looking like he was about to break into a kata. 

Tenten grinned a bit. “ _ Speaking _ of Lee-”   
  


Neji held a hand up. “No. We are  _ not  _ talking about this again.”

“Oh, come on, Neji! It’s so obvious that they like each other!” Tenten whined, shaking Neji’s arm in emphasis. “Look, I know Lee’s been unlucky with love in the past-”

“Yes. With Haruno Sakura,” Neji interrupted, scoffing. What Lee had seen in that girl, he would never know.

“- but I think he actually has a chance, now! The way that Gaara looks at him, you’d think that Lee was the only other shinobi to exist, or something. Admit it! I’m always correct about these things, just like that time I told you that taking and drinking some of Gai-sensei’s sake would only make you sick in the morning - and I was  _ right _ .” 

Neji sputtered, face blooming red as Tenten gave him a smug cheshire grin. “Well- That has nothing to do with this! Whatever. Let’s just go back to our hotel already.” And with that, Neji began walking conspicuously faster, leaving Tenten behind and refusing to look back.

Tenten’s cheeks puffed. “Rude. You’re never any fun,” she muttered before following. 

\--

Meanwhile, Gaara and Lee walked out of the meeting room together, back on their way to the Kazekage’s office. As soon as the door shut on them and they were in the office safely, Lee let out a large breath of air and hefted himself in one of the seats in front of Gaara’s desk, stretching out his legs. “Wow! I cannot tell you how much I needed this break. Forgive me for saying this, but that meeting was much longer than I anticipated.” 

Gaara rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “Yes. I noticed.”

Lee rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. “Oh, I hope I was not too much of a distraction to you. I just could not help but feel so antsy in there.” A thought suddenly came to him, and he straightened in his chair. “Oh! And another thing. I am sorry if this is out of line, but the way they talked about you - it was so uncouth!” Lee’s fists clenched in his lap. Even though he had not paid attention to much of what was said, he still caught on to the way that the other officials had passive aggressively talked to and about Gaara, as if Gaara was too stupid to understand their behavior. “How could they say those things, and get away with it?”

Gaara let out a small exhale. “Because there was nothing I could do about it. Stopping them would look too unprofessional. And I’m supposed to be making myself a better name outside the village.” He ran a hand through his hair. He wasn’t about to mention that Temari would also give him the berating of a lifetime if he messed the meeting up. “Besides… it was not totally unwarranted.” He thought back to all the times he had hurt people,  _ including Lee _ , throughout his life, and sighed.

Lee gave an upset frown. “But that is no excuse! You have changed so much. They just do not understand you, yet,” Lee objected, dismayed. “It is not fair for them to do that. They should know better. Oh, if only Gai-sensei were here…” Lee murmured, wishing his sensei could be there to teach him how to best convince the officials that Gaara meant no harm.

Gaara’s hands fell lightly upon his own. “Thank you, Lee. It… means a lot,” Gaara said awkwardly, but Lee could not help but focus on the warmth that passed between their hands. A part of him saved this moment, like a photograph, to store in his mind forever. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you want while I work, if you’d like.” 

Lee found himself enraptured as the two continued to talk throughout the day, constantly remembering the way Gaara’s hands felt on his.

-

Neji took his time untying his hitai-ate as Tenten shifted in one of the hotel room’s beds. There were two beds in total, however there was a couch that Lee had offered to take, seeing as he wanted to “train for sleeping in less comfortable places”. Or something. Neji jolted as the door opened with a bang.

“Neji! Tenten! Hello!” Lee announced. Tenten made muffled groans as she woke and sat up in bed. “I am finally back!”

“Hello, Lee,” Neji greeted.

“Ugh, Lee, did you have to open the door so loud? I was sleeping, y’know…” Tenten grumbled.

“Oh! I am very sorry, Tenten!” Lee apologized, making sure to close the door quietly behind him. Tenten flapped a hand in his direction before leaning back on the headboard. “I have just finished a good discussion with Gaara-kun, so I was a bit excited.”

Tenten gave a shit-eating grin to Neji, who scowled at her in response, before turning back to Lee. “And how  _ was _ the discussion, Lee? What did you talk about?”

“Oh! It was good,” Lee said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “We just talked about the meeting, and other matters. But, um…” Lee fidgeted nervously where he sat, causing Tenten to raise an eyebrow. “...There is something I have been meaning to ask. Normally, I would confide these feelings with Gai-sensei, but seeing as he is not here right now and that today would likely be the best time to do this since we are leaving tomorrow… I am going to confess this to you both, my closest friends.” 

Neji moved over to the bed, sitting next to Lee with a serious look on his face. "We’re listening.” 

“I think… I think I may have... feelings for Gaara," Lee started. "I am not sure when I have started feeling them, but I know that it is true, because all throughout today I could not help but think of him in the way I once thought of Sakura-chan, but deeper. Being with him, I already feel myself even closer to Springtime!” Lee proclaimed before speaking in a hushed tone, “But I do not know how to tell this to him. I want to be honest, in case he… does not feel the same. I cannot bear to wait with this new knowledge.” Lee’s mind raced with anxiety.

Neji, looking into Lee’s eyes, sighed and clasped him on the shoulder. “Just tell him how you feel. Gaara won’t be the kind of person to cut corners with you.” Neji couldn’t believe Tenten was right. She would be all over him once Lee left the room, and he groaned internally.

Tenten hummed enthusiastically in agreement. “Mm-hmm! And maybe try not to rush into it too fast. He probably won’t appreciate you overloading him with this kinda stuff.” She smiled sheepishly for a moment before becoming animated once more. “But woo-hoo! It’s about time, Lee! Anything else you need to know? I’ve got good advice with these things, because as Neji over here knows, I’m  _ always. Right.” _ Neji batted her on the shoulder, and Tenten cackled.

“In fact, I was hoping to ask… does anyone know where Gaara-kun is right now?” Lee asked, confused at what his teammates were referring to but thankful nonetheless. 

Neji nodded. “He’s on the roof of the Kazekage building,” he answered, pointing up to the building in question, which could be seen through the open window. Although it seemed like no one was on it, when Lee squinted a bit, he could just make out the silhouette of a person on top.

“Oh! Thank you very much, Neji!” 

“Good luck, Lee,” Neji smiled as Lee sped out the door.

-

"Do you mind if I sit here?" Lee inquired, smiling a bit, only sitting down next to Gaara after Gaara scooted a bit to the left to make room. 

"The night sky in Suna is so beautiful," Lee commented idly, pointing up at the stars after a couple of minutes in silence with his dear companion. "In Konoha, I have never seen this many stars." Gaara grunted in affirmation. The air became quiet between them again, save for the soft  _ tap tap  _ of Lee’s feet bouncing against the tile of the roof they were on as Lee kicked them in the air restlessly. 

Lee turned towards Gaara after a moment. He had sworn to himself that he would not let nerves get the better of him, and he was anything but a quitter. “Kazeka - Gaara-kun-”

“Gaara,” Gaara cut in. “Just say Gaara.” 

“Ah, okay… well, Gaara… I…” Lee tried to say, stumbling over his words, finding it harder to do than any of Gai’s toughest challenges.

“Spit it out.”

Lee gulped, face becoming red as a tomato. “Yes! I am sorry Gaara, I just… when I think of you, I do not really know where to begin,” Lee started, blushing furiously. “You have been my great friend for so long, now. And lately, I have been thinking about… things, when it comes to you. Your great skill in combat, your adept leadership, and your hair that reminds me of bright strawberries! It is a passionate youthful feeling that I feel in the deepest crevices of my heart!” Gaara tilted his head slightly.  “And, as Gai-sensei told me once… there is no time like the present to be true with your deepest, manliest feelings! So…” Lee took a deep breath.

“Gaara, I think I may be in love with you.”

Gaara was silent after Lee confessed, and the more seconds that passed, the more Lee started to fret. “Ah- I mean- well, if you do not accept, that is okay- oh, please do not be upset!” Lee panicked. “I do not want this to get in the way of our wonderful friendship!” However, Lee paused when he heard a strange noise coming out of Gaara’s lips.

Gaara was laughing.

Soft  _ huh huh huh  _ noises spilled out of his mouth as his shoulders rose and fell imperceptibly, the sand hissing in his gourd before dying down. Lee’s brows furrowed, confused, before Gaara finally spoke.

“Rock Lee. I have been in love with you… for a while now.” 

Lee gasped in shock. When did this happen? How did Lee never notice? “...Why did you not tell me?” Lee settled on, leaning forward a bit in anticipation for the answer. Gaara looked away, suddenly interested in his trousers. 

“Because I couldn’t bear the idea of you choosing to stay with me out of pity or guilt,” Gaara whispered, almost as if he were talking to himself, but just loud enough for Lee to hear. 

“Gaara! You know I would never do that. You are one of the most powerful people I know! And you know that I am always honest with my feelings. It is the True Shinobi Way!” Lee countered desperately, hoping that it would make Gaara’s worries disappear. He could not handle Gaara thinking that Lee would only love him out of pity when Lee would never do something like that.

“But wouldn’t you? Would you not find pity for the ex-monster who finally learned to love? Would you not feel guilty about the idea of rejecting me, knowing that there would be no one likely to love me because of all of my flaws, because of my mistakes?” Gaara questioned, tone biting before becoming hushed. “I’m not good like you, Lee. Not yet. I have too many things to atone for.” 

Gaara sounded so sad, so lost, that Lee couldn’t stand it anymore. He quickly grabbed Gaara, gathering him up in a tight hug. “Do not say that,” Lee murmured fervently in Gaara’s ear. “You  _ are  _ good. I have seen it. And I will be with you every step of the way on your journey, because I  _ care _ about you.” Lee then pulled back slightly, facing Gaara head-on, staring right into his sea-blue eyes. “I would never pity you, because I have always believed that anyone can love, even if they have forgotten. And I think that love exists everywhere. Your mistakes and flaws do not define you.” Tears began to well in Lee’s eyes, but he was surprised when a tear rolled out of one of Gaara’s. Lee gave a shy smile.

“So, Gaara… will you have me?” Lee asked.

Gaara paused, before a small grin showed up on his face, radiating with a happiness Lee had never seen before. “Yes, Lee. I will.”

\--

**Author's Note:**

> aaand that's it! this is the longest fic i've ever written so far (even though it's only my second.. lol), so i hope it isn't too bad :") i might make a follow-up chapter to this fic, so if there's enough demand for it, i'll try my best!
> 
> this hasn't been beta read, so if you find any grammar/spelling mistakes, i'd really appreciate anyone pointing them out in the comments! 
> 
> thank you so much for reading, stay safe, and wear a mask! :-)


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